Opening
Everyone has a part of themselves they keep politely hidden at work, on the school run, even among friends. Waiting for permission to be fully yourself can take decades. Nicole Starbuck spent twenty years suppressing hers, and the story of what changed is really a story about finding your people.
The idea
Nicole Starbuck is a psychic empath, quantum energy healer and spiritual mentor, and I shared a stage with her at a spiritual curiosity summit last year. Her word for that year was connection, which is how I knew she belonged on this podcast.
Nicole first noticed her gifts as a child and suppressed them for twenty years, a span she describes without drama but which you can hear in the relief of her now.
In 2019, feeling that there had to be more to life and fairly isolated in her growth, she joined a Facebook group called Visionary Soul and then the Soul on Fire retreat in Sedona. Being in person with like-minded women changed everything.
The co-facilitator simply said, you’re psychic, and that recognition became the catalyst for the professional work she does now. The lesson inside her story is about sequencing. The community came first, and the permission followed.
Most of us wait for permission before we go looking for our people, and Nicole’s life suggests the order is the other way round. Her philosophy since has been open doors without pressure.
“the way that I look at it is, the door is always open”.
She shares her beliefs freely when asked but never forces them, and she watches for small cues, even the words someone uses for the divine, to sense who is open to the conversation.
Her stories of co-creating with the universe, from a group coaching programme that reappeared in her feed to a Facebook ads specialist who appeared the day after an intuitive nudge, are really stories about asking clearly and watching for who arrives.
She describes herself as an introvert at heart who uses technology deliberately, leading online retreats from home while her husband needs the faces of the day. There is no single correct way to be connected.
What I took from it
I know what it costs to keep a meaningful part of yourself out of the room, because I did it for years in corporate life. Moving from the UK to Canada in 2021 meant introducing myself all over again, and I decided to lead with the things that actually matter to me.
Nicole’s door metaphor has stayed with me ever since. Openness is not oversharing. It is leaving an invitation visible and trusting the right people will walk through it. Her ordering of permission and community rearranged my thinking too.
When I look back at the turns in my own life, they almost always began with a room, a group, a retreat, a class, where someone else was already doing the thing I wanted to do. The courage came from company, not the other way round.
That is quietly the whole thesis of my work, arriving through a story about psychic gifts.
Three things to try this week
- Name one part of yourself you usually keep hidden, and share one small piece of it with someone likely to be curious rather than judgmental.
- Practise Nicole’s open door stance in one conversation this week. Invite questions about what matters to you without steering anyone towards agreement.
- Write down one thing you are asking for in your life right now, then note who or what shows up over the next seven days.
Watch and go deeper
Nicole’s calm is contagious on camera, and the Sedona story lands even better watched than read. The full conversation is in the player below.
You can explore Nicole’s courses and readings at Nicole Starbuck.
New conversations land on the Rediscovering Connection channel most weeks
Close
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