Opening
You can sit beside someone for months and still know almost nothing about what they can offer, what they care about, or what they are carrying. The relationship may be warm, yet a whole landscape of possibility remains hidden.
Connection becomes more useful and more human when we become curious enough to let one another be known.
The idea
Tristan Claridge is the founder of the International Social Capital Association and a leading researcher and practitioner in social capital. The idea I carried away is refreshingly practical. Social Capital is not only the trust or reciprocity we feel after years of relationship.
It also lives in the knowledge we hold about one another. Knowing that someone writes music, understands software, loves gardening, or has navigated a challenge can create an opening for social action. Tristan offered a simple example from his own life.
He is a software developer, something I did not know before our conversation. Once that knowledge is shared, a different kind of possibility appears. I might need help with a technical problem. He might discover something about my work that allows us to act together.
The point is not to turn people into resources. Social Capital cannot be transactional. It is an accessible investment that becomes meaningful when it meets real social needs. Tristan also brought attention to authenticity and what he called “obs listening”.
That means giving another person enough attention for useful, human details to surface. It is a way of moving beyond the performance of networking and towards recognition. As he put it:
“the opportunities often stem from simply knowing”.
What I took from it
When I moved to Canada from the UK in 2021, I had to learn again how much of belonging is built through small disclosures. I have moved a lot, and each move has asked me to explain myself from the beginning.
The most generous people did not try to impress me with their own networks. They asked better questions. I have also raised children far from extended family, and I have felt the relief that comes when someone remembers one useful detail about our life. Being known is not a grand gesture.
It is an accumulation of attention.
Three things to try this week
- Tell one person something useful or surprising about your current interests, then ask what they are learning or exploring.
- In your next conversation, listen for one detail that could create a future point of connection. Remember it and follow up within a week.
- Make a small introduction based on genuine fit. Tell each person why you thought the connection might be useful, without asking either of them to perform.
Listen and go deeper
Play the episode above, then explore the guest's work at Tristan Claridge.
Close
Our research with more than 1,200 leaders keeps returning to the same invitation. Social Capital is already present, but it becomes Social Wealth when it is activated in ways that meet our needs. Explore the research, then ask yourself what might become possible if you let yourself be more fully known.