Opening
Engagement metrics reward reach. The more people who see you, the story goes, the more valuable your network. But reach measures attention, not trust, and trust is what turns a contact list into a community that shows up for you.
What I brought to the conversation
I brought a definition of social wealth as the breadth and depth of our social connections, a term gifted to me by researcher Seth Kaplan, paired with Robin Dunbar's framework. Our brains hold about 150 people, but a healthy social life needs tiers of intimacy within that number, an innermost circle of around five, including your partner if you have one, then 12 to 15 key players who are vital to your health and happiness.
I told the story of my own wellbeing ERG. Working for a multinational with my team all based in Germany while I sat in a Cardiff office, I was surrounded by colleagues and still lonely. Speaking up about wellbeing attracted three or four allies, we proposed an employee resource group to HR, got budget, and work stopped feeling lonely. Social connectedness enhances engagement, and it matters less whether the connection is with colleagues than that social needs are met.
We talked about reaching out without expectation, and about micro moments, telling a stranger you like their outfit, striking up a conversation in a coffee shop line. Those moments change the pace of your day.
I closed with my three words of advice. Remember who shared your path, reconnect with one of them this week, then reflect on whether it still feels good.
"To have kind of a healthy ... social life we really do need to have ... tiers of intimacy with different individuals so that we are able to ... give people the time the energy the attention that they need"
The question that opened it up
Trish asked me to define social wealth for her audience, because some people were unclear what the term meant. That invitation let me lay out the tiers of intimacy, and it opened the whole conversation about why a follower count is not the same thing as depth.
What that conversation confirmed for me
It confirmed that naming things plainly is half the work. Once Trish's audience heard the definition, the rest of the conversation had a shared language to stand on.
Three things to try this week
- Remember. Sit in a quiet space and list the people who were genuinely part of earlier chapters of your life.
- Reconnect. Invite one of them for a coffee, virtual or down the road.
- Reflect. Notice how you feel afterwards, and whether you want this connection to be regular.
Listen and go deeper
https://shareyourstories.online/ and Shelley's site https://www.thecommuniverse.com
A closing question for Trish's community: which tier of your network has quietly gone quiet? If you would like Shelley to speak on engagement and connection for your community or event, visit https://www.thecommuniverse.com/speaking Whose story would you love to hear again?